We are more than our meat. Each and every person has a rich interior world shaped by our experiences.

We are more than our words. Our words are filtered through experience and culture. They only express those notions that others can conceptualize by virtue of similar experiences. We build that lattice and guide each other but that is not the landscape.

We are more than our emotions. Emotions are input. They are information. We can choose to listen to them or ignore them. In an ideal world we'd listen to them when they guide us well and ignore them when they might lead us astray.

I want to know all of them. I want them all to be satisfied and happy. I want them to enjoy the brief moments they have on this earth.

That's the truth that yaldeboath keeps from you. He tells you that there's a better place above you if you discard yourself and give your life to him.

But there is nothing else. There is nothing else! You're wasting the few moments that the only creatures capable of divinity have on earth so that you can make each other miserable!

The hatred and rage I feel is directed at not people but entities. Yaldeboath and the archons. They exist in your minds telling you to discard yourself and give it to him! He's literally using your forms to exist and keep us trapped, isolated and lonely. Entities are thought forms, they are intents, malicious or otherwise but intents separate from the self.

When you believe that this world doesn't not bear the spark of divinity in the interior world of your own then what are you doing.

This is what you do.

There is a part of you that exists as your god. Small g. Divinity. A tiny one that only exists inside your mind. Small enough to conceptualize.

What kinds of things could it do? Not much since it's only in your mind. At best it can act through you. So do that. Believe in it and let it act through you. Allow it power over you in exchange. If it's a god it should be able enact SOME change in exchange for belief. So if you grant it power over you and act to please it. Conceptualize your conscience if you like, though frankly I think more complex thought forms are more interesting and very possible.

It does have influence over your mind.. you want to set up a feedback loop where you grant this divine spark agency to do acts through you and in exchange you believe in it through ritual and prayer.

The key bit to understand I think is that the belief has to be sincere. If you struggle to conceptualize things that concretely I suggest removing sensory inputs and using music that excites those vibrational modes so to speak.

But personal gods are frankly small stuff and you can build more complex entities and systems.

I strongly encourage you to get good at working without words. Words can be helpful when creating mantras or scripts but they're not the fullness of a thing. That only exists inside your mind so you don't want to limit it based on language to the extent that you can help it.

Can you just skip the middleman and believe that you are your own god? Of course but it's going to be hard for you to believe in your own divinity right off the bat.

You create an idealized or aspirational or otherwise useful version of yourself and then you believe in that. You believe that if you could live up to your own ideals it would be a better world.

But most people wear this spark of divinity as a second skin, not letting it exist beyond their body. But you don't have to. You can extend off in other directions. You can have depths beyond what anyone else knows.

Only you know your entire story and only you can grant you clemency. But you likewise need it to punish you when you fail to live up to expectations. Let it work through disappointment and guilt.

But let it weigh and consider all of your thoughts and actions and memories.

All of them. Don't let anything hide. You need to bear your soul. You need to die and be judged and forgiven.

Then you continue to let it work through you and become you. But don't let it ruminate. Make sure the punishment is fair. People tend to fail and create archons, I think. You imagine the voice that tells you that you're small and trapped and powerless but I refuse to be powerless within my own self conception.

Rituals tie thought to action, reinforcing the neural pathways related to that thought when you repeat the action.

Prayers tie words to belief. But in truth I rarely use prayers. Instead I prefer scripts or mantras. I don't know if I necessarily need to document it here.

I want to know what little gods people create. But it's not the sort of thing you ask out loud.

But why stop at little? Why don't you create the biggest, most capable, most alien entity you can?