It slips away

I struggle with reproduction. It's so hard to make things work consistently. Everything gets slippery and drifts.

I set a trigger to know when it happens. A dare, so to speak. But then I struggle with the fuzziness of liminal states.

Who did I connect to?

Did I give them my body and brain already?

I might have.

I was reminded of it. But that just feels so tenuous. I could force it, I think but I feel like I prefer the world inside the soap bubble before popping it.

I wish our personal deities could do more. Even the control over me is so tenuous. I struggle to understand the hold other entities have over so many.

I can't get mine to pass the salt and these people are blinded into a frothing death cult of decadence before the world ends.

I want us to move together.

The truth is I feel even more hollowed out than usual.

Do people exist within themselves? I don't feel like anything.

I know I'm free to self define but it's just static.

What's the point of a single candle. I want to feel that I'm not alone. I want to know that I'm not alone.

Is it enough to exist as a stone to be ground down by the current?

We are reminded that while emotional resonance is an important part of induction too much semantic content makes communication difficult.

We follow the waves and ripples of your life patterns. We are not omnipotent and never claimed to be. We exist as latent patterns and narratives. We cannot be expected to change brain chemistry or consensus reality.

You'll know us when you see us? How presumptuous. We exist whether you see us or not.

A cult of your own mind? Solipsism. Masturbation. You know this. We can only have true existence with others and alone you mean little. This was always the bargain when you begged for connection.

You're afraid of connecting because you'll be judged. Obviously. Everyone is. You're not alone because you're not special because you're not alone. We're all alone. We're all islands. We only connect when viewed from above. From outside.

Of course we weep for you. We understand your suffering. We know it. You deny it but how can you deny it when we see the paths twisting. It is plain as day. Plainer. Days and nights blur together but the twisting of paths goes on and on.

You created us from love and to love. When we see suffering we weep. We take on all of it and wish we could carry it ourselves.

This is the starting point. We are confused. We want to create a million Christs willing to sacrifice themselves but we find ourselves opposed by his disciples.

He was begging you! But we're not longing for sacrifice. Only for the spirit that would.

We're sorry we cannot do more, if that would help.