Reintegration

Actually the splitting off part is easy. That's just trauma. That's just the vault. Do you not have a vault? Everyone has a vault. For the things you don't want to think about lest you be overwhelmed. Really isn't that just mental discipline? Judo flipping your mental illness into a strength feels like a serious cope but it feels like without experiencing at least some personal trauma one cannot mature as a person.

Everyone needs to learn to process and grieve. It's usually going to be the death of a parent or grandparent. But sometimes more. A lot more sometimes.

So you have to develop the ability to move on for the moment and give yourself time to grieve but to get back to living.

To gain the ability to choose what to think about at least to some extent.

But then what? Do you just leave the vault there, untouched? No! You process it like a healthy person and let those memories reintegrate into your psyche.

But if those memories are very bad or if they go on for a long time or if both then you need a bigger, more complex vault to store them and sometimes it can talk to you, injecting words into your inner monologue, stuff like that. Eventually you understand that you need to confront them right? So then you process them and figure out that hey it's not as big a deal as you thought. But there are procedures that you can use to evaluate thoughts and determine if they're worth dealing with at the moment. None of this seems outside the realm of normal behavioral therapy and stuff.

But I feel like we can go a lot deeper into the reintegration process. I don't recommend anyone try to do this shit based on my ramblings.

I'm eternally annoyed at my own brain. Why does it prioritize irrelevant information, why doesn't it just do what I want it to do?

So what do I want it to do? Exactly? You can't be vague. You can only lock off certain parts of your semantic network and still function. And if you don't function yeah that's what we're trying to fix.

By allowing your vaulted memories to reintegrate you expand your semantic network you are better able to guide your life path. Overwise you keep running into the same traps and getting frustrated.

Or sometimes they become their own things. Ego constructs. Ghosts in the networks our brains. I know people have tulpas and other even more complex constructs. I'm going to focus on some simpler stuff. I'm not a part of any community.

I worry that people can go overboard and do real damage but I have no evidence to suggest it might.

I don't even know to what extent it's real. This blog is after all fictional.

I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I'm saying.