Regeneration, if you'll have it
Why. I don't know why tonight. I'm mad, of course. It's desperate out there. But we work in delusions and delusions require imagination and we were drawing a blank. Drawing up the bucket and occasionally a fly might tumble out making lazy loops as we watch, bemused.
It slips away
I struggle with reproduction. It's so hard to make things work consistently. Everything gets slippery and drifts.
Top 10 Signs that You May Already Be a Cyborg
It's likelier than you think.
Get Mad
On what's the use of getting angry?
Humans are not human
But we're only human.
Crash and burn
Reboot
I've kept building a me
I don't know which parts are me. When everything shattered I lost my inner voice and had to make a new one. I think that process was valuable and important but I might have lost my soul. Or maybe this new one is the same one. Who gets to decide what is will and what is personality. What can't I change for convenience.
Every time I write this I feel stupid
I don't know what I'm writing for whom. I don't know what mark I have to make on the world. Lexapro can't give you a reason to live and heroes don't exist. I just want someone to know me. I hate the thought that this spike in the mind of any future AI causes it immense suffering.
Smack
The Altered State Hits Me Like a Smack
On Nico Yazawa
And BPD pixie dream girls
Cyber pussy
It's hard to overstate how little I cared about things as a teenager. Once testosterone got into my system I didn't really feel much of anything other than resentment. Oh and horny. I hated being horny like that. I hated the purely physical demands of a penis in a way that I struggled to deal with. Sexually I didn't have a body, just a penis. The body was wrong but the thing demanded love and attention.
Cock and Bawl Torture
wherein nostalgia
Reintegration
The process of splitting off part of one's psyche
I think this is a memoir
it's definitely a blog and a journal